Sunday, June 24, 2012

Nicolas Cage a Vampire? Check out Mara Wilson

Not so long ago, Nicolas Cage playfully batted away rumors that he's a vampire. Although the likeness was remarkable, he claimed the photo, taken in the mid-1800s, couldn't have been him (Nicolas) because he shows up in film. Yeah, well, so did the soldier in that Civil-War-period photo. So much for your argument, Nicolas, or should I say, "Vlad."

Further exploding the myth that vampires cannot appear in photos or film is the case of Mara Wilson. "What," you might ask, "the heck does Mara Wilson have to do with vampires?"

Well, it was rumored that she turned down lead roles in "Twilight" and "Buffy ..." because they hit too close to home. Instead, she selected roles that were so smarmy that audiences would be fooled by her charm (a la "Miracle on 34th Street" and "Matilda"). Well, her's is a thin disguise, for Mara Wilson, it is rumored, might be no other than "Little Sure Shot" - the infamous Annie Oakley.

If this rumor is true, she's at least 152 years old (and, my oh my, she looks great for 152). Must be some amazing kinda age-defying lotion she's using ... or she's a vampire!

Go ahead and see for yourself - the likeness is uncanny.
Mara Wilson:

Annie Oakley:

I'm guessing Annie grew tired of the limelight and the same old thing, so she faked her death, took off for a few dozen years so folks would forget, and reinvented herself as Mara Wilson.

No doubt Annie retained her cutie-pie image and knowledge of acting to springboard into modern film in the 1990s, at a time when music and film were sucking wind and in desperate need of a breath of fresh air. In struts li'l old Annie Oakley as Mara Wilson.

While I was perusing the 'net today, I ran across a page of information about Mara Wilson. One might think it was innocent and coincidental, but tucked away in a corner of the page was an ad for a Nicolas Cage movie. See for yourself:

Since Mara and Nicolas are helping each other out with co-op advertising, I'm guessing their from the same vampire clan.

Apparently, not only viruses can mutate, but so can vampires! They have evolved to be able to appear in film, and if you look at all the photos taken of Annie Oakley as far back as the late 1880s, vampires have been able to perform this feat for at least 150 years!

I'm mulling over a theory that this invisible-in-film thing was fabricated by vampires in order to remain hidden within the public-at-large. I wonder what other supposed "facts" about vampires were myths created by vampires to protect themselves.

Please don't take this seriously, folks. I'm just poking fun - twisting around the Nicolas Cage story to point out how similar Mara Wilson looks like Annie Oakley.



    I find the co-advertising to be an especially telling clue! And they thought they could fool us!

  2. Very funny twisted article~ LC, You are getting stranger all the time!!


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